Previous days emails - Matrimony ads

I was just going through some emails from 3-4 years and more ago. There was a time when I had about 10000+ unique and good to awesome forwards in my mail box. 20000+ conversations saved and 20000+ work related emails too. Now, I do not engage myself in forward emails but I do go and check the old time's emails. Here is a funny collection - sharing it now because its marriage related and nothing is more hilarious yet painful than a joke on marriage (because you know its not false and you know its going to happen to you too).

These are some of the matrimony advertisements that came in as forwards. Hope you enjoy.
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Remember - this is an email from 2007-2008. So references are little old gen but fun is still intact.

Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail...

Marriage

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Hello To Viewers My Name is Saradha , I am single i dont have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore ... if u like me u welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..

Thanks

yours Regards Saradha ~*~

(Truly yours)

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i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework 

(What Homework?)

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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........... hold my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

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i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast 

(by not wearing his jeans? What the hell...)

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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY THEY ARE 
1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD. 
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing {laughing})

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whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)

Infact she doesn't know what she wants ?? A LAMP??

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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok 

(Patner!!! I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome" )

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i am pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & mother sister completely married 

(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married 'completely' ?) ( Confused ????? )

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my name is farhan begum and i am unmarried. please you marrige me please please please please please please please 

(height of desperation! )

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i am kanan-devi. i do own businaas.one sistar.he was marred. 

( Plz? for gods sake ask somebody's help in framing sentence )

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hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily. i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ... 

(but credit cards not accepted?? ?)
(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted? Clean Habits??? Is there anything like that.)

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I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.

(Zebra..???) (Gosh!!!!!!! ! she knows her heart color)


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- Wants a man who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. he may never create any difficulties in my life or his life by which the entire life can run smoothly. thank you

(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)

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- he should be good looking and should have a service. he Should have one brother and one sister. he should be educated.

(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)

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- i am simple girl.I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck now i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot 

(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)

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- My husband should be as 'Shiva' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as in KSBKBT......

(Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure she must be demanding too much, Ain't she?)

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- HI I AM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK 

(the "ok syndrome" again but this time its in the third stage… it even affects her spellings??)

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- iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent. i am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.

(actually what is this girl doing? Postal service or tailoring.??)

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- I want one boy who love me or my mother. he love me heartly or he havea frank he's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey. IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful. but iam not a handsome girl or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good girl. My father already expired . iam ''AEKLAUTA''. THE CHOICE IS YOUR.

bye bye.

(uttama purishinin)

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- iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No comments)

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- I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT.

(maybe the poor gurl meant BAD habits)

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- hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first husband.his charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ...

(same caste or other caste...so why mention the caste???)

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- i'm looking out for who lives in bombay, boy simple who trust me lot should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.

(Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)

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- to be married on jan-2009. working man preferable

(this girl has fixed the marriage date too! But she is yet to find a bridegroom. I wish her best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure she will get one soon.)

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- i would like a beautyfull boy. and i do not want his any treasure. because boy is the maharaja.

(Now he is going to be a lucky boy! Any takers?)

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- ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying
salary at present.

(Any takers again?) 

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More to come, hopefully.

Table with an umbrella at CCD

Hanging out with friends at CCD, I always get fascinated by many things; most of which others find weird. This time, I wanted to have a table with an umbrella set.

My place has a room size balcony. Most of the time, it is unused. What will suit best in it is a table with an umbrella along with maybe four chairs. This may be expensive so I am even ready to drop the chairs part and can sit just below the umbrella lowering the table base. Sounds good, right.

at CCD Pune

But, every good sounding thing has a not-so-good sounding price tag. A normal table+bench+umbrella set costs about Rs. 7000 - Rs.8000 minimum(Yes, I had it checked few months ago). Here at CCD, the table and umbrella which I saw, wow it was. A heavy, sturdy and great looking metal stuff with granite round table as base and even the umbrella was made up of metal. Guessing the price - at least around Rs. 20000. So I started hoping that there is a shop with second or even third hand sale for this kind of stuff. Or may be the CCD itself sell out the tampered/damaged table with an umbrella stuff.

Question arises - what can really damage such a heavy metal piece. It is nearly impossible to be damaged by natural rains/thunder or even small run-over accidents that can happen over the coffee at CCD. But there has to be something that can damage. If there is something, I would love to do anything to make it happen. CCD sells it or not is a later part.

So I was looking around, 360 degree search for something with ability and capability to damage a dinosaur strength like table with an umbrella at CCD. India's must win and win big cricket match was going on against South Africa in T20 world cup but we were not even bothered. My friends and me were literally eavesdropping on every possible candidate who could result in damage of the table with an umbrella at CCD.

Table with an umbrella

And we found her. She was a fair, smiling girl - shouting at the boy she was with. She was banging her hands on the table and I got my hopes up that "Yes, she is the one. She is the one who can do what I want with that table". (what are you thinking about; dirty mind. All I am hoping is that she will be damaging the table). I am hoping, praying that she gets more furious. She was talking funny things but I was more interested in her damaging talent than talking talent. Sadly she went without any fruitful result.

There was another contender in the race of damaging the table with an umbrella at CCD. Her English and Marathi was - well.. how do you spell "disgaaasting". But she was more a "disaepoeinthing" than anything else.

In this way - I am still looking for a table with an umbrella; chairs optional.

So, more to come, hopefully.

Ganapati Bappa Moryaa

The Ganesh Festival just ended. Here are some of the glimpse of the festival from Pune. Some random pics from various areas of Pune like the Dagdu shet Ganpati, Laxmi road, JM road, FC road, and few from; as they are called; "Mana che" Ganesh mandal. IF and when I get more, will post another Ganesh jee special post.

Ganapati Bappa Moryaa. :)

Thanks to Avanti for pics.

An evening in Bandra - part 2

More is here...continuing from where I left..
IF YOU ARE HERE DIRECTLY ON PART 2 - check the first part of this story first
http://smallfunstory.blogspot.in/2012/09/an-evening-in-bandra-part-1.html 

She: Thanks... My name is Rutu.
Me: I am Dhanesh. Nice to meet you.

And that's how I met Rutu. What happened next was completely unexpected happened.

We chatted a while waiting for our respective friends. After a while
Me: Looks like I cannot get a good break. Cant reach my friends and cant go in without them as they have passes.

Rutu: I guess same is my situation. What can we do now?
Me: We?
Rutu: mmmm... Why not? Either we can go back to our homes or can do something so that the evening is not completely spoiled.
Me: Good idea.
Rutu: I have something to make it better - lets get in the club - boy and girl together don't need passes.

And that's what we did. Went in the club.. the music was so fine that we nearly got lost in it. We chatted a while waiting for our respective friends. After a while:


Me: Looks like I cannot get a good break. Cant reach my friends and cant go in without them as they have passes.
Rutu: I guess same is my situation. What can we do now?
Me: We?
Rutu: mmmm... Why not? Either we can go back to our homes or can do something so that the evening is not completely spoiled.
Me: Good idea.
Rutu: I have something to make it better - lets get in the club - boy and girl together don't need passes.

Rutu - Dancing

And that's what we did. Went in the club.. the music was so fine that we nearly got lost in it. The music was loud and the DJ was playing with the beats as if he owned it. "That's my name" was played like half a dozen times that night and many times was "DJ got us falling", Enrique's "I like it" and so many.

And suddenly, the music stopped and it changed to a slow one. It was, to my surprise, my favorite one - "The Time of my Life".
The atmosphere was hot and so was the temperature there.. 

Me: Oh wow!! I cant believe this song is being played.
Rutu: Yeah... dirty dancing *winks*
Me: you know this one?
Rutu: Who doesn't? I love it.

It was superb. The song, the dance and suddenly we started singing too..

"I've had the time of my life
Ni I never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you.............."

Rutu and me were pulled very close to each other.. very close.. so close that it felt better to close the eyes.

As we were singing... the last line she said - "And I owe it all to you"..

The kiss

And a soft kiss... like a silk falling.. like a butterfly wings touching.. like.... a little captivating and a little liberating.

With the opening of eyes we saw each other and she sung song again "And I owe it all to you"..
As Rutu again moved close; my eyes closed again. I suddenly felt cold on my lips and a chilling wind passed right through me.
I opened my eyes, and... and she was gone.. I was holding her but now I just felt cooling sensation on my arms.

I went towards the table.. stunned.. My friends came from behind and said - "Sell you mobile dude.. not reachable at all.. & How the hell you got in.. wow.. you seemed to have danced your shoes off".

I am still stunned and speechless, standing there.. wondering what really just happened? I still wonder what really happened?

Rutu.. ????

End of story.. unexpected and incomplete it may seem.. but may be, it may be a perfectly ended story.

More to come, hopefully soon.

An evening in Bandra - part 1

It was a Saturday evening I reached a club in Bandra, Mumbai, parked my car and as I tried to call my friends, I found there was some problem with the network in the parking and the call was not getting connected at all. I thought to get out of the parking and make the call. 

As I was crossing the area, I saw a beautiful girl standing there. I thought may be she is waiting for someone to pick her up. Then I thought, it just start of the evening and why would someone be going out of the place. By the way, a little more about her - she was amazingly dressed and was looking absolutely stunning. Kind of fair looking girl she was, Wearing a purple mix with white and gray top with a fine line denim bottom. By the look of her you can say she was ready for the party. But what was she doing standing there as if she is waiting for someone. May be she was also having same phone problem as me. 

To be honest - she reminded me of someone I knew during my junior college. So, I thought to walk over to her and ask if she needed any help!!! She did saw me going in the parking area and she was also noticing me heading towards her. I gave her a smile as a greeting gesture and she smiled back as I was just few yards from saying "Hi" to her.
She was wearing this diamond studded glittering earrings and a nose diamond. Wow!!! I never imagined that a small pin size nose-diamond could add so much to a girl's beauty. Stunning that looked on her.

Me: Hey, any problems there?
She: Yeah.. no really.. I am good.
Me: Okay. (then I again try to call my friends and call again drops out without connecting)
She is looking around - it seemed as if my presence is making her uncomfortable. Obviously so!! We both were equally strangers behaving equally strange in a strange parking area.
I thought to get out of there so...

Me: Ok then.. have a nice time.
She: You too...

As I started walking outside.

She: Hey.. would you mind if you stay for a while here please. I am waiting for my friends and they haven't showed up yet.
Me: I am also not able to reach my friends..but.. no probs.. I will wait for my friends here.
She: Thanks... My name is Rutu.
Me: I am Dhanesh. Nice to meet you.

And that's how I met Rutu. She gave me many reasons to never forget this evening. Why so? What happened next? All that will be posted very soon. Keep reading. Believe me - something absolutely unexpected happened that night.

Definitely - More to come...to be continued.....